Simply Business Coaching

Are You Contributing To Your Own Overwhelm?

I started my first business over 10 years ago because I believed that I would enjoy working for myself.  And I do.  But, what I found out very early on was that there was just so much to get my head around, so much to learn and so much to do.

One of the mistakes I made was to decide that what I needed to do was to work longer hours and that would make everything better. It didn’t. All that happened was that I got more and more tired and less and less effective.

Another mistake I made was to believe that I was the only person in this situation – that there must be something wrong with what I was doing, or perhaps with me. That one took a bit of work to realise that this belief was totally wrong.

I also didn’t take enough time to recharge my batteries because I was so busy working in my business that I felt guilty if I didn’t do at least some work over the weekend. And, even though I’d heard this saying before – and indeed repeated it to my clients, I got so busy working in the business that I didn’t allow any time to work on it.

Fortunately I was able to realise what was happening and take actions that would stop the feelings of overwhelm I was experiencing. These strategies worked for me and they’ve worked for my coaching clients, and they’re what I’m passing on to you today.

Now, what you may not realise is that you may actually be contributing to your own overwhelm. Let’s see if you can identify with any of the following.

You’re working really hard in your business, probably harder than you ever have before, and yet you’re making less money than when you had a job! Is that going to make you feel overwhelmed and frustrated? It certainly is. By the way, did you know that JOB also stands for Just Over Broke?

Or, perhaps you’re are doing every single task yourself? You don’t want to let anyone else do it because only you know how it should be done. Or you think you can’t afford to get help – that’s a big mistake which I’ll talk more about in another post. This is called trying to be a Superman or Wonder Woman and you set unrealistic expectations of yourself and what you can achieve in a given time – are you surprised that you then feel overwhelmed?

Another way you could be contributing to your own overwhelm is that you lack focus. Not on purpose but because you simply have so many ideas that you never seem to actually get down and do the work that makes the money! This is known as Bright Shiny Object syndrome as I learned from fellow coach Melanie Benson Strick and it’s really, really common amongst us business owners.

So, are you doing any of these and contributing to your feelings of overwhelm?

Wellbeing: There's something missing ....

What I've really enjoyed about this Easter holiday weekend isn't the chocolate (delicious though it is!), nor the long lie-ins in the morning (never been one for those).  In fact, it's taken me until almost the end of the long weekend to realise why I'm feeling relaxed, even though I've spent quite a few hours working and tackling a rather large 'elephant in the room' (more of that in another post!).

What has made this an enjoyable few days for me, is a lack of pressure, almost like a weight being lifted from my shoulders.  It's a similar feeling to being free from a nagging ache - you don't always realise it's gone straight away, but just know something's different, better than it was.

With most businesses closed for the duration, the phones have been quiet (though not in a worrying way); the volume of emails has eased off; many project deadlines have been suspended or put back; and there's no point in worrying about things when you can't reach anyone for a few days.

This blissful lack of pressure got me wondering how I can extend it after the end of the holiday.

How would you do it?

Are You a Workaholic?

A workaholic is someone who is defined and obsessed by their work.  If you took their work away from them, they wouldn’t know what to do.  A workaholic uses their work to avoid the rest of their lives, most often relationships.  A workaholic is not a happy person because they are constantly in fear of losing the one thing in life they are successful at – their work.  While it is great to be passionate about what you do, it’s important that your work isn’t a way of avoiding living the rest of your life.

Overwork is different to workaholism.  Overwork is when you have too much to do at work and you have other interests and relationships outside of work but not enough time to spend on them.

However, being a workaholic or being overworked do have one thing in common – they both cause stress.  Stress can lead to physical and/or emotional health problems which in turn are going to lead to a drop in performance levels, and which can directly affect your company’s sales and profitability.

Keeping a healthy balance between work and the rest of your life means you and your employees will be more effective.  You will be able to be totally focused on getting those sales and delighting your customers during business hours and enjoy being with your family and friends outside of work.

Quick Check - Answer the following questions:

1.    I won’t delegate because no one can do the job to my standards.
2.    I find it difficult to relax.
3.    I often work late and/or at weekends.
4.    I have missed or cancelled arrangements with family or friends because of work, on several occasions.
5.    I feel most comfortable at work.

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions you need to take care that you are giving enough attention to the other important areas of your life.  The more ‘yeses’, the more urgent it is that you take action quickly.

Worry is like a rocking chair .....

I couldn't find the original author of this saying, but it’s so true:

“Worry is like a rocking chair, it doesn’t get you anywhere but it gives you something to do.”

If you are so worried about how you’re going to pay the bills, you will probably not be making your best decisions, and you’ll certainly struggle to concentrate or work on anything creative.  I know this because I’ve been there.

When you have your own business there can be some very hairy financial moments.  Worrying about the credit crunch and its possible effects is likely to bring you at least a few grey hairs, and at worst a stress-related illness.

I’m not going to tell you not to worry, that would be foolish of me.  And I honestly don’t know how long or how deep the current economic depression is going to be.  I do believe however, that the media are making things worse because of the number of times they keep repeating how bad things are!  I’ve blogged before that I’ve stopped buying a daily paper as I find it too depressing to read.  But even so I can’t escape all the bad news broadcasts.

In case you haven’t heard, I’m starting a new radio show on the internet (also known as a podcast) on Monday 12 January.  Each Monday, at 5.30pm (GMT) I’m going to be chatting with a fellow business owner about what they do, the challenges they’ve faced and some of their top tips.  I’ll also be asking them for their personal take on the current economic climate.

If you’re a one-person business, please don’t feel you have to worry on your own.  Listen in to the weekly shows on BlogTalkRadio, (it’s completely free and details about how to join in are on the website) or to the recording which will be posted here on the blog, when I’ll be sharing messages of encouragement and motivation!  And if you’ve got a particular topic you’d like to find out about, just leave a comment here and I’ll do my best to find out about it for you.

Letting go of the bad news stress

On Monday, I set you an exercise to find and write down things to be grateful for.  I hope that’s going well and you’re starting to feel lighter in mood.

Today, I want to focus on releasing those bunched up muscles around your neck and shoulders.  When you receive so many negative and worrying messages as there have been over the last few weeks, you’re bound to feel tense when the bad news seems to go on and on. 

It’s almost as if your body is trying to get ready to do battle against this invisible baddie!  The trouble is that you’re stressing your body and you must take some time to consciously relax, if you don’t want to make yourself ill.

Please try my ‘Take 5’ exercise, so–called because it only takes 5 minutes (although longer is even better!).

• Go somewhere you won’t be interrupted and make sure all buzzers, ringers etc. are turned off (it is ONLY for 5 minutes!)
• Sit quietly, rest your hands loosely in your lap and close your eyes.
• Focus on your breathing.  Don’t try to change it, just notice each in breath and out breath.
• Let those chattering thoughts that clamour for attention just pass through for now and refocus on your breathing.
• After 5 minutes, open your eyes and slowly come back to the present moment.
• Your stress levels will have subsided and you’ll feel refreshed to carry on with your day

I prescribe this to be taken by everyone, at least once a day, and as often as needed!

On Friday, I’ll be sharing how we can learn from experiments that took place in the 1960s

Your business needs a little sunshine!

Not least because of the depressing economic news that seems to be everywhere you turn!  Regular readers may remember that I actually stopped getting a daily newspaper a few months ago because the doom and gloom was distracting me from building my business.  But it is impossible to escape what’s going on in the world, especially if you spend a lot of time on the internet!

Last Friday, I delivered a workshop on Stress Management to a group of business owners.  I reminded them that it's important to get outside during daylight hours and enjoy a little sunshine (responsibly), so as to improve their energy levels and lift their mood.

Did you see how many more people were out and about while the weather was so glorious at the weekend – and how many were smiling?!

But, after a largely gloomy and wet summer, more of us are likely to suffer from S.A.D. Syndrome (Seasonal Affective Disorder) this winter because we haven’t been able to ‘stock up’ on sunshine as usual.  A study carried out by the University of Toronto confirms the brain chemistry link.

So, for your health and the health of your business, make sure you get a little sunshine – every day if possible.  Even if the weather is overcast, natural daylight will still help!

For more information about the diagnosis and treatment of S.A.D. visit the NHS direct website.